Mollie's Tailpiece by Christine M. Harris

Author:Christine M. Harris
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Dogs, dachshunds, dog diary, church dog, Holy Trinity Gosport, Hampshire, dog humour
ISBN: 9781911105206
Publisher: Andrews UK Limited 2017
Published: 2017-03-07T00:00:00+00:00

See what I mean about Uprights being rude about our legs? If our Upright had legs like mine she wouldn’t have ended up the other night with her legs in the air and her glasses all bashed up. I don’t know!

Having a word

I didn’t go to church on Sunday. Our Upright told me that lots of Uprights asked where I was and if I was ill. She said that she’d have a word with me when she got home.

Why do Uprights always say they’ll have a word. It’s never a word. It’s always loads and loads of words. With all those words you’d think they’d be able to work it out, but sometimes they talk so much, they don’t have time to stop and think.

She did say we ought to say sorry to the Archdeacon because there was a special service and the Archdeacon came to it and on the way out at the end of the service I caused a traffic jam. All of the custards wear long red dresses when they sing, so our Upright had bought me a new red coat. For this service they were all going to wear puppies - I’m sure they said puppies but they must have changed their minds and wore red flowers instead. The trouble with my coat was that the strings on it got tangled up with my legs and I couldn’t walk properly. When I stopped walking everyone behind me stopped walking too and all the important Uprights were too polite to overtake me. Our Upright was nearly as red as her flower. I wasn’t bothered about having a new coat in the first place.

Anyway, when she’d stopped having all her words about my not going to church, our Upright did the sensible thing and thought about what was wrong. She knew it was to do with going to church in the car and not walking to church. Then she thought a lot more and said that we couldn’t always sort things out the way we want them to be. Sometimes we have to accept things the way they are.

Why don’t Uprights give up talking and start barking instead? Now she thinks I ought to say ‘sorry’ properly to the Archdeacon because now he’s even more important and he’s a bishop in a place that has a Bath & Walls. But we’ve got a bath and walls, so I don’t know what’s special about that.

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